My Women for Women International trip to Rwanda with my family was one of the most meaningful experiences we have had together. It is hard not to fall in love with the country’s rolling hills, vibrant colors, spirited music. And it is impossible to ignore the power of the rebuilding and the reconciliation taking place. As a nineteen year old, the Rwandan genocide of 1994 occurred in my lifetime. The young girls that survived its unfathomable cruelty are my age.
During one of our last days in Rwanda, our group attended a Women for Women International graduation. We listened as women who had completed their first year of the program recounted their stories and the ways in which Women for Women had changed their lives. The entire ceremony glowed with hope for a future in Rwanda. One part of the ceremony in particular will stay with me forever. One woman, clad in deep blues and reds talked of losing her husband and two of her children in the genocide.
Women for Women had allowed her to send her other children to school, to build her family a house, and to continue providing for her family on her own. In her wake, another woman, much more serious and dressed in a long, pale yellow dress, began to speak. As one of our guides quietly translated for my siblings and I in English, I was shocked. This woman had spent eight years in jail for the murders she had committed during the genocide. I thought I had heard incorrectly, but when the translator assured me I had been right, my disbelief changed into something else. The woman continued to say that without her husband, still in jail, she had no way of sending her children to school let alone feeding or housing them.
Women for Women granted her the independence and abilities to fully support her family. The pale yellow and red blue figures stood and swayed side by side during the rest of the ceremony. That moment for me, was truly incredible. Women for Women had brought these two women together, two women with very different stories, and helped them both rebuild their lives. Conflict is never black and white. I learned from this moment, and from this trip that sometimes to resolve conflict we must move on from the grey. Women for Women does not discriminate or judge, they have and continue to help all of the women they can. This kind of help is the only way to reconcile, the only way to forgive, the only way to rebuild.
Molly Bernstein traveled with her family to Rwanda in August as part of a Women for Women International donor’s trip.